My heart is with you. Happiness is such a tender subject. We all want to be happy, but it's hard to define and even harder to bring to life. In my opinion, happiness first begins when we're able to feel safe and comfortable in ourselves. And from there, defining our needs, wants and goals. We can then start to align our choices around all this. Because when we see things sprouting up around us that align to who we are and what we want, it also sprouts the seeds of happiness.
So my questions to you would be - how are you taking care of yourself? Do you feel connected and safe within your own body? Perhaps a great step to start tackling all this is to put together a self-care plan and nurture yourself.