.png)
I don't know Wt to do.
When I was very young.... I was been molested by many men who stayed near my house n family members. But as a kid I had no knowledge about anything, I didn't know what was right and what was wrong. But I couldn't share anything with anyone. But as I grew up n saw the reality, I understood what was happening with me n what I was part of..... Which threw me into a well of shame. I realized I didn't a big mistakes in my life without knowing What I was doing. I avoided attending family event because I find the people who did wrong with me and was scared what they might say about me to others. And what if my parents get to know about it. It's been 11 years and I still live in that fear. I still avoid attending family events, I see those people walking carefree and I walk in shame thinking that What if someone come and ask about those things because I know they have shared with other men around them and I haven't. I don't know what to do.... This is not allowing me to progress in my future relationships. I'm scared to start a relationship.
Oh Kavya...my heart is with you. I am so sorry you've had to go through all this. It's truly terrible - no one should ever be molested, raped or sexually assaulted - especially by family.
None of this is your fault. Absolutely none of it. Please let any shame you feel melt away. You are a warrior survivor. A woman that has walked a very dark, difficult path. You are strong. You are brave. Even posting your feelings here is brave and strong!
Clearly, this is directly impacting your relationships within your family and your ability to start relationships with men. That is very understandable. Because the men that did this to you are associated with your family and neighborhood growing up, you will have to spend some time thinking through what family relationships you want to have - if any. You are entirely within your rights to walk away from any person, situation or environment that doesn't provide you with basic safety, respect and dignity. If family events will cause you further physical or emotional harm, it's ok to not go.
Are there any people in your life that you feel safe with? That you trust? If so, this person can be a source of help and strength as you start the path toward healing. None of us can go through life alone - I'm hoping you have at least one person truly in your corner.
You have a lot of emotions and experiences to process, and suggest you consider seeing a therapist that can help you with all this. If you need help finding a therapist or support, please let me know and I can connect you with women that can help.
I'd also recommend that you find ways to take extra good care of yourself. Whether that's going for a walk, practicing a grounding meditation, singing, drawing or taking a long shower - identify three things that you can do every week to nurture your own heart and soul. Hold space for all these big emotions coming up without judgement of yourself, and learn to trust yourself again. I'm happy to send you any thoughts and suggestions for self-care.
Again, thank you for sharing. And please let me know if you'd like for us to connect you with help locally. Sending you lots of love...
Kirsten
Hello kavya,
Trust me , you don't have to be ashamed.
Those morons have to be ashamed of themselves .
But they won't be .
Because they don't even know what kind of ill creatures they are .
You are not in shame
You are angry sis ❤️.
You are angry that you couldn't punish them .
Next time when are about to face them,
Trust me , keep your head up queen , look at them at their eye .
Trust me queen , they're gonna look down or look away , they can't face you.
I know its a lot more to ask , but try it once ,
You gonna be great ❤️
Trust me .
With love ,
Sowmya .