@dkirti359 I'm sorry you're feeling so alone. How are you taking care of yourself right now?

Thanks for sharing Shahid! There is nothing wrong with being attracted to girls. You are not broken. You are not a sinner. You are simply a lesbian - and there is nothing wrong with that. There are millions of lesbians (women that are sexually attracted to women) all over the world. I'm not sure what country you're in, but here in the US we have lots of organizations that help LGBT people. One of my favorites is The Trevor Project (https://www.thetrevorproject.org) - please check them out. They have a ton of resources and support for girls just like you. You are not alone. There is nothing wrong with you. You deserve to love whomever you would like. Please let me know if you'd like to talk - I'd also be happy to connect you to other lesbians and LGBT people. With us here at Just A Girl, you are safe. You are valued. You are respected - just as you are.

Thanks for sharing, Arshiya. You have nothing to be ashamed of - you simply don't want to go into medicine. There is nothing wrong with that (despite what your parents might say). What do you want to do with your life? What brings you joy? These feelings are very common in many families worldwide. It's ok to choose your own path. To pursue the career that makes you happy.

Thank you for sharing, Sarrah. I'm so sorry you're feeling caged. I'm not sure where you live, but it sounds like there are a lot of traditional expectations of women. These can be hard to fight - breaking free of cultural barriers isn't simple or easy. Are you able to get an education? Are you able to take on any hobbies? Can you have a job? Perhaps there are ways that you can start doing things that make you happy. There are no easy ways to break with family expectations. Do you have any friends that have broken with tradition? If not, perhaps we can help you find a support group of women in your country that have taken their own path in life.

Thanks for sharing! I'm sorry you feel alone. How are you taking care of yourself right now? I think it's really important for each of us to come up with a self-care plan - things we can do that nurture our body, mind and soul. Whether that's journaling, spending time in nature, listening to music, dancing or even organizing a closet - there are lots of things that you can do to help you take care of yourself and feel supported.

Thank you for sharing, Sarrah. It's really hard feeling like a visitor in your own life and family. How are you connecting to your emotions? Do you know what is causing these feelings of alientation, sadness and anxiety? It's really important to take good care of ourselves right now. What are you doing to take care of yourself? I ask all these questions because your answers can help you figure out how to start working toward solutions. Perhaps you could start journaling. And every week, you can read through your journals to identify specific themes and emotions that keep arising. It's also really important to be kind to yourself and build a self-care plan. Find the ways that really help you feel safe, seen and nurtured. Once you start finding ways to connect to specific emotions and experiences, and feel safe within yourself, you can start to communicate better with the people around you, and have specific asks of them that help you feel safe within those relationships. Sending lots of love...

I'm sorry to hear this, Sharma. How are you taking care of yourself? If you're feeling like you need an outlet for your grief and emotions, have you considered seeing a therapist?

Love this, Sowmya! 💚

Oh Kavya...my heart is with you. I am so sorry you've had to go through all this. It's truly terrible - no one should ever be molested, raped or sexually assaulted - especially by family. None of this is your fault. Absolutely none of it. Please let any shame you feel melt away. You are a warrior survivor. A woman that has walked a very dark, difficult path. You are strong. You are brave. Even posting your feelings here is brave and strong! Clearly, this is directly impacting your relationships within your family and your ability to start relationships with men. That is very understandable. Because the men that did this to you are associated with your family and neighborhood growing up, you will have to spend some time thinking through what family relationships you want to have - if any. You are entirely within your rights to walk away from any person, situation or environment that doesn't provide you with basic safety, respect and dignity. If family events will cause you further physical or emotional harm, it's ok to not go. Are there any people in your life that you feel safe with? That you trust? If so, this person can be a source of help and strength as you start the path toward healing. None of us can go through life alone - I'm hoping you have at least one person truly in your corner. You have a lot of emotions and experiences to process, and suggest you consider seeing a therapist that can help you with all this. If you need help finding a therapist or support, please let me know and I can connect you with women that can help. I'd also recommend that you find ways to take extra good care of yourself. Whether that's going for a walk, practicing a grounding meditation, singing, drawing or taking a long shower - identify three things that you can do every week to nurture your own heart and soul. Hold space for all these big emotions coming up without judgement of yourself, and learn to trust yourself again. I'm happy to send you any thoughts and suggestions for self-care. Again, thank you for sharing. And please let me know if you'd like for us to connect you with help locally. Sending you lots of love... Kirsten

Thank you for sharing, Tanishka. You clearly have strong feelings for a man that is already married and committed to another person - those are tricky waters to navigate that typically come with a lot of disappointment. In these kinds of situations, someone always gets hurt. Instead of focusing on getting more of this man's attention, I'd encourage you to spend some time reflecting on your own wants and needs. What does a healthy relationship look like to you? What expectations do you have? What do your boundaries look like? What does respect mean to you? How do you cultivate reciprocity in a relationship? Write these answers down on paper, and read through them every day. Soak in consciously your own relationship needs and expectations. It's so very hard to be in a relationship that isn't going the way you hoped - especially with a person that's already in a committed relationship. But by taking a step back, evaluating what you want and need, and establishing healthy relationship boundaries and expectations, you'll be better able to determine if this is the right relationship for you. And from there, you can communicate those needs and expectations to this man. If he cannot meet those needs and expectations, you must respect yourself enough to leave (because no relationship is worth your dignity and self-respect). Someone that truly loves you will see you as an equal partner, diligently respecting your needs, expectations and boundaries. He will build a life with you - his actions aligned to his words. If he can't do that, then he doesn't actually love you. Sending you all kinds of love as you figure all this out. It certainly isn't easy asking ourselves these kinds of hard questions. But it's a lot easier than spending years of our lives in relationship limbo, with a man that has no intention of truly loving us.

Thank you for sharing, Kolambi. It sounds like you’re in a difficult situation. Many people don’t know how to manage their own emotions, so they take their sadness, frustration, etc. out on other people. It sounds like you may be that emotional outlet for her. Know that you aren’t doing anything wrong. Her emotions aren’t for you to fix. But what you Can do is yourself a few questions. Do I need to live here? If I do, how to I best take care of myself and my emotions during this challenging time? Are there different boundaries that I need to se with my family members? Do I need to adjust my expectations of my family? Are there people I trust that I can ask for help and support? Addressing these questions will help you to start to take steps forward, whether that’s changing your living situation, setting healthy boundaries and expectations or getting better support to navigate all this. Sending lots of love...

Trust is tricky...once it’s broken it can take time to rebuild. I know you’ve been let down in the past, but I hope that you find people to rebuild trust with in the future. 💚

Hi Tanishtha - thank you for sharing! I'm so sorry I didn't see your question earlier. How are you doing, now that some time has passed? Breakups are hard - there is no easy way around it. Hopefully you've been taking time to care for yourself and are feeling strong and well. I'm happy to share some ideas if you need them.

Thank you for sharing, Minty. It's been a really hard year for everyone, and I think that most people are struggling in one way or another. I know it's easy to think that you're doing something wrong when people leave. But I'd also encourage you to not blame yourself always - instead challenge those emotions knowing that the person might simply need more space and time to take care of themselves. That they may not know how to talk about it, or to leave a relationship with grace. I'd also encourage you to find healthy ways to support and care for yourself. Go for walks in nature, spend five minutes a day deep breathing. Get a full nights sleep. Reach out to someone and invite them to have coffee (if it's safe). The most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. So find ways to care for you, and if other great relationships come along, that's great. But they're only adding onto the wonderful and kind relationship you have with yourself.

Thanks for sharing, Beula. It sounds like you've been through a lot. I'm sorry that has been a lonely path for you. Are there any people in your life that you could trust? Open up to? Sometimes, we have people around us that would love to help us and build a more meaningful relationship...we may just have to ask. I know it's hard to open up to people, but it's the only way to start building good relationships with people.

Thanks for sharing, Sunny. It sounds like there may be some imbalances in your relationships. I'm a giver, and always tend to give more than I receive. It's been hard over the years, navigating romantic relationships, friendships - even with family. I've had to learn how to set and maintain healthy boundaries for myself. I've also tried to let go of having expectations of others, because they're simply my hopes for them - not what they want for themselves. This helps to release me from disappointment and make sure I'm protecting myself in the relationships I build, ensuring there's reciprocity and mutual compassion.

Breakups are hard - they bring up lots of big emotions. I'd encourage you to not try to push those emotions away, and instead try to find healthy ways to process and move forward. Be kind to yourself, and ask the people you love and trust for help. It can get better.

I understand feeling this way - I think many of us feel misunderstood, and that we're letting down the people that we love. There's no quick fix, but I'd encourage you to find one or two people that you trust, and ask if they're able to listen. Talking things out with people I love and trust has been helpful for me - it's given me the perspective and safety I need to find a path forward that works for me.

Hey there! I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling. How are you taking care of yourself? Are there people in your life that you can trust and support? It may be helpful for you to consider seeing a counselor or therapist. They'd be able to help you work through the difficult emotions while feeling seen and supported.

Thank you for sharing, Sanjana. This sounds like a difficult situation. I'm not sure of the details of the situation, or the reasons why your relationship ended. However, I do know that happiness is something we must cultivate within us. We must each learn to listen to our heart and our emotions, figure out what brings us genuine joy and find ways to truly care for ourselves. If we ignore our internal world, and seek happiness in other people and things, that happiness won't last. It's hard when relationships end, but perhaps this is a good opportunity for you to shift the way to care for yourself and find more sustainable ways to cultivate happiness and resilience within. As for self-harm and suicide, this is something you should perhaps take a look at. Are you in unhealthy patterns that are hurting you (emotionally, physically, mentally). If you are suicidal, there are lots of wonderful lifelines out there to get urgent help. I'd consider talking to a therapist or counselor, to determine what the best course of action would be. We all need a strong support system to tackle the challenges in life, and professional help is a great way to deal with life's big stuff. You aren't alone. There is hope. If you need recommendations, please let us know.