Forum Comments

Feel lonely and no clue
In Self Doubt
Living in Shame....
In Shame
Kirsten Helgeson
Jun 24, 2021
Love this, Sowmya! 💚
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Living in Shame....
In Shame
Kirsten Helgeson
Jun 24, 2021
Oh Kavya...my heart is with you. I am so sorry you've had to go through all this. It's truly terrible - no one should ever be molested, raped or sexually assaulted - especially by family. None of this is your fault. Absolutely none of it. Please let any shame you feel melt away. You are a warrior survivor. A woman that has walked a very dark, difficult path. You are strong. You are brave. Even posting your feelings here is brave and strong! Clearly, this is directly impacting your relationships within your family and your ability to start relationships with men. That is very understandable. Because the men that did this to you are associated with your family and neighborhood growing up, you will have to spend some time thinking through what family relationships you want to have - if any. You are entirely within your rights to walk away from any person, situation or environment that doesn't provide you with basic safety, respect and dignity. If family events will cause you further physical or emotional harm, it's ok to not go. Are there any people in your life that you feel safe with? That you trust? If so, this person can be a source of help and strength as you start the path toward healing. None of us can go through life alone - I'm hoping you have at least one person truly in your corner. You have a lot of emotions and experiences to process, and suggest you consider seeing a therapist that can help you with all this. If you need help finding a therapist or support, please let me know and I can connect you with women that can help. I'd also recommend that you find ways to take extra good care of yourself. Whether that's going for a walk, practicing a grounding meditation, singing, drawing or taking a long shower - identify three things that you can do every week to nurture your own heart and soul. Hold space for all these big emotions coming up without judgement of yourself, and learn to trust yourself again. I'm happy to send you any thoughts and suggestions for self-care. Again, thank you for sharing. And please let me know if you'd like for us to connect you with help locally. Sending you lots of love... Kirsten
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I am in relationship with an old man he loves me he is married but I want him more
In Self Doubt
Kirsten Helgeson
Jun 24, 2021
Thank you for sharing, Tanishka. You clearly have strong feelings for a man that is already married and committed to another person - those are tricky waters to navigate that typically come with a lot of disappointment. In these kinds of situations, someone always gets hurt. Instead of focusing on getting more of this man's attention, I'd encourage you to spend some time reflecting on your own wants and needs. What does a healthy relationship look like to you? What expectations do you have? What do your boundaries look like? What does respect mean to you? How do you cultivate reciprocity in a relationship? Write these answers down on paper, and read through them every day. Soak in consciously your own relationship needs and expectations. It's so very hard to be in a relationship that isn't going the way you hoped - especially with a person that's already in a committed relationship. But by taking a step back, evaluating what you want and need, and establishing healthy relationship boundaries and expectations, you'll be better able to determine if this is the right relationship for you. And from there, you can communicate those needs and expectations to this man. If he cannot meet those needs and expectations, you must respect yourself enough to leave (because no relationship is worth your dignity and self-respect). Someone that truly loves you will see you as an equal partner, diligently respecting your needs, expectations and boundaries. He will build a life with you - his actions aligned to his words. If he can't do that, then he doesn't actually love you. Sending you all kinds of love as you figure all this out. It certainly isn't easy asking ourselves these kinds of hard questions. But it's a lot easier than spending years of our lives in relationship limbo, with a man that has no intention of truly loving us.
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Yeh I'm a girl where I went through many danger zoones, I stood on my own legs whenever I'm in a need, even girl dint even help me
In Self Doubt
Can u help? I myself making myself lonely even though there are opportunities as I got fed up of everyone and I looking for trust truth fun
In Grief, Loss & Loneliness
Kirsten Helgeson
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